My (attempted) new outlook

Lately, it seems social media is making an about-face on how it views perfection. Rather than the overly skinny tight-abbed women with thigh gap, the world of Facebook seems to be singing a nicer, softer tune of “love thyself.”

I think it is starting to sink in.

I’ve been wondering lately, what if I stopped obsessing about the fact that I weigh 140 pounds now instead of the 130 I did five years ago? What if I stopped looking at the slightly fatter face and instead of thinking I used to be so pretty, thinking I still am pretty. And what if instead of chastising myself for not exercising enough to look better, I start reminding myself I need to start exercising more so I feel better.

I woke up this morning with this crazy thought. Instead of wearing jeans in 90 degree weather because I hate my thighs, I’m going to wear shorts. Regular shorts, not those long ones I tend to put on. I’m not wearing anything inappropriate when I wear regular shorts and I need to stop thinking that I am. I need to stop worrying that some chick with a thigh gap is going to be disgusted by my cellulite. Because I have cellulite. I’m a 37-year-old mother of two who enjoys ice cream and cheeseburgers and chili cheese fries. I no longer exercise regularly because I no longer enjoy exercising regularly. I sit in front of a computer screen for countless hours a day because it is my job.

There is going to be cellulite. 

And I’m starting to become okay with that. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer. I’m not longer going to shame myself for not being pretty or fit enough and I’m going to start reminding myself to focus on what is more important, healing the damage I’ve done to my self image and creating a more emotionally healthy self.

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About marciboudreaux

Marci Boudreaux lives with her husband, two daughters, and their numerous pets. She is a freelance writer appearing monthly in a variety of local magazines as well as a content editor for several small publishing houses. Romance is her preferred reading and writing genre because nothing feels better than falling in love with someone new and her husband doesn't like when she does that in real life. Marci is currently working on her Masters in Publishing because she still has time to sleep.
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